the horizon is my home

Eh, just a bunch of shit, really. I’m surprised at how just one fleeting thought can launch someone into a depressive rut. But among other things:

• Friend of mine is moving away to England in just over a week and won’t be returning for at least a year. It’s somehow affecting me more than I thought it would (sort of know why, but I can’t really divulge it here) and I won’t be able to see him off either.
• Once again overthinking dating/relationships and why I suck at it/them. Realized that maybe I’m a professional heartbreaker in the midst of my awkwardness of actually getting close to someone. It’s something I’m working on.
• Also getting tired of meeting awesome people, only to have to move away again. I love travelling but the transient lifestyle is growing tiresome.
• Losing sight of school again. I know what I want to do at the end, yet I’m losing track of my path. Not feeling half of my courses this term but I feel that I am at the cusp of being in too deep to switch. I want to drop one but I’m not sure if it would drop me down into part-time status, and I just want to be fucking done with my first year credits already.
• Money is a constant stressor. I hate the concept and ideology of money.

Being sick was on that list, too, but thanks to my antibiotics I’m now starting to feel like a normal person again, and can once again become a functioning member of society instead of wishing for death over constant pain and flip-flopping between shivering and hot flashes.

But despite it all, I’m getting better. I usually somehow pull myself out of these ruts.

Love you, anon.